“It’s been more than thirty-five hundred straight days since my daily forecast was, by any stretch of the imagination, correct,” said Burke. “It’d be a whole lot longer if we didn’t actually get that freak August blizzard I threw a blind dart at in 2003,” he added.
The tenured meteorologist went on to list some of his favorite ways of misleading News Channel Six’s regular viewing audience.
“Temperatures, of course, are never going to be right anyway, so I just kind of throw some numbers up on the map based on how heavily dressed I am for the day,” admitted Burke. “But there’s really not much thrill there, because nobody’s going to be pissed all day because it’s five degrees warmer than expected. However, ensuring a sunny weekend when I should be issuing a flash-flood warning, now there’s a real-world example of how my forecast can really affect people’s day-to-day lives. Especially campers.”
Burke attributed his impressive streak to his diehard work ethic.
“No matter what day of the week it is, I’m always eager to wake up Little Rock with some horribly misleading weather reports,” said Burke. “I guess you could say giving fictitious weather forecasts is both my passion and my vice. And probably the reason I get into so many bar fights.”