Dick's New Year's Resolutions

Dick Bill would like to take this opportunity to tell readers that anyone who wants to know what his New Year’s resolutions are for 2009 can go fuck themselves with a cold thermos, sideways. “Why should I change anything? It’s everybody else who sucks,” Dick’s after-2 a.m. interpreter told Recoil. So there you go. Recoil recommends avoiding this subject whilein conversation with Dick during the next few weeks.

Dick Bill urinates on his 2009 calendar before disgarding it, vowing to tell what day it is all year simply by observing the position of the sun.

January 2009