Trick Dick
Most readers are unaware that amateur magician and cultural icon Dick Bill won an apprenticeship with David Copperfield during a rigged dice game decades ago. Having studied under the master illusionist for many years, Dick appears capable of wielding mind-blowing command over time, space and financial responsibilities. Among Dick Bill’s most impressive tricks:
- Making club cover charges vanish
- Sawing a woman in half (not so much of an illusion as simply sawing a woman in half – a real
crowd pleaser)
- Teleporting between eight different bars every night without possessing a driver’s license
- Hypnotizing strippers
- Pulling Jack Daniels pint from hat, coat, back pocket, shoe, ear
- Escaping from incredibly boring bar conversations
- Levitating asshole from barstool using only right hand
- Predicting own Keno loss
- Transforming absolute hellhole into living quarters
- Conjuring absolute worst fucking river card imaginable
August 2011