Ralphie May

Ralphie May can free an avalanche with an ink pen. The Tennessee-born stand up comedian and Last Comic Standing (2003) runner-up is known on stage for his honest (read: politically incorrect), fast-paced delivery and for saying what his audience is too afraid to think. Off-stage, he's known as a prolific writer who churns out jokes faster than Toyota mails out recalls.

During a phone call with Recoil last month, May – who will perform March 11 at the Kalamazoo State Theatre – explained how his life experiences can steamroll into six or seven minute bits. For example, in January of 2009 he witnessed the "Miracle on the Hudson" (emergency plane landing) alongside his comedian wife Lahna Turner.

"From there I talk about the 'Miracle' itself," May begins, "and then those poor people who had the shittiest day of their life. Because we might think it's a miracle, but it's all about perspective."

The passengers, crew, rescuers and even the river itself take a few digs. Eventually, May transitions to the international consequences.

"Every terrorist in the world is now raising pigeons because they heard a bird brought down an airplane."

Once he's flushed out every angle of that story, the storm swallows a new topic. Maybe it's Michael Jackson?

"He died of anesthesia. How do you get addicted to anesthesia? What's the gateway drug to anesthesia?"

It's a natural progression to Tiger Woods, who May says he didn't like before learning of his harem... "He was like a Wheat Thin. A brown cracker."

It feels like May is testing some material, but he's also illustrating how he's able to write over two and a half hours of new material each year. Every joke has its own family tree and he's not done until he's met and made fun of every relative.

"I write so fast and I write so much, I'm afraid that I might write over someone else's jokes."

This isn't a joke. May is so afraid of being labeled a thief that he's become a great student of stand-up comedy. He bounces new material off everyone he can, asking if it sounds like anything they've ever heard before. If he learns of a comic who used a similar punch line 20 or 30 years ago, he'll trash the bit and start over.

"Everyone will say... Dane Cook's a thief – I really don't think so," May said. "I think that [Cook and other accused thieves] just write over stuff and don't do their due diligence."

After losing to Dat Phan in the inaugural season of LCS, May's struggling career exploded. He likes to joke that he was a 14-year overnight success, but the truth is one month he was struggling with rent, and the next he was paying cash for a new car.

"In one week, I made more than I had made in the past three years."

May had successful gastric bypass surgery in 2003, and married Turner in 2005. They now have a two-year-old daughter and eight-month-old son. Both children made a little noise at the beginning of the phone call, and the R-rated comedian made the transition to father with surprising deftness. Family life has affected his comedy.

"I'm more racially insensitive... and more politically incorrect."

The 38-year-old has been compared to Cartman from South Park, and it's a fair comparison at times. Both have a hip-hop attitude and handle sensitive topics like the treatment of Mexicans, Asians and Jews with stone gloves. There's also the obvious physical comparison, but like Cartman, May doesn't make many jokes about his own weight (although his outfits often do).

May is conscious of everything that goes into his performance, however, while Cartman obviously isn't (maybe one could argue May is similar to Trey Parker or Matt Stone). He doesn't move around much because he doesn't like to sweat, and because he wants to always be television ready. Cameras can follow you easier if you're in one place he explains, and the director can grab more intriguing shots. May will use his arms like a public speaker, bringing the audience into him.

His bits are shortened and shortened and shortened again for maximum punch in minimum time. In an interview with comedian Brad Meehan, May explained how a punch-line is "He dead," not "He is dead." It makes a difference.

This summer look for May in the Neil Patrick Harris comedy The Best and the Brightest. He said working with "Doogie Howser" was a great experience, although he best remembered the actor from his turn as the "Fairy Shoe Person" on Sesame Street.

"There's a whole song and dance routine... and I knew it because I've seen it like a hundred times." May's two-year-old loves the episode and since May only lets her watch television when he's around... at least that's the story he's sticking to.