Marine Biologists Baffled By 10,000-Year-Old Statue Of Sam Kinison Discovered On Ocean Floor

Marine Biologists Baffled By 10,000-Year-Old Statue Of Sam Kinison Discovered On Ocean Floor web

Los Peros, Calif. – A Stanford University marine biology team admitted being baffled by the discovery of the 10,000-year-old statue of stand-up comedian Sam Kinison found two miles below the surface of the Pacific Ocean earlier this week. “As is often the case, a discovery as unpredictable as this brings more questions than answers,” explained Dr. Eli Flatt, shaking his head while rifling through images of the underwater find. “The carbon dating on this detailed and accurate depiction of Kinison challenges everything we thought we knew about the rise and fall of sea levels, linear time, and possibly prehistoric religion,” admitted Dr. Flatt. “The discovery of another underwater Jesus statue would be no big deal, but would at least make sense in the context of history as we perceive it. But Sam Kinison? How does that even make any sense?”

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