Long-blessed with the gift of second sight (as well as the curse of usually seeing three of everything), professional fortuneteller and cultural icon Dick Bill recently turned his psychic talents into a fresh revenue stream, offering mystical insight into the future of anyone who has $20 cash to spend. Here are some examples of how Dick interprets the 22 cards of the Tarot:
CARDS AND FORTUNES
You are currently being cheated out of twenty bucks.
The Hanged Man
You are about to get married.
Godsmack or Nickelback songs take up the majority of your iPod’s memory.
(SEE The Hanged Man)
You’re about to get popped for your third drunk driving.
You are Recoil publisher Cliff Frantz.
You will be interrupted after only seeing the first half of the second Lord Of The Rings moive.
Nobody EVER gets this card – it’s boring. You must be extemely uninteresting.
Dick keeps getting this card too. Apparently it can be ignored.
This card says you suck, as does everyone else you know.