Dissenter obviously dissenting just to get his name in meeting minutes

Athens, Ga. – Sources present at a Monday meeting for account managers of a small advertising agency expressed contempt and frustration regarding the repeated voicing of lone dissenting opinions from meeting attendee Thomas Egelski, who coworkers contend is constantly dissenting just to get his name mentioned in the meeting minutes.

“I swear, Tom is such a dink, he’s always got to be the one, lame asshole who votes ‘Nay’ when everybody else at the table has voted ‘Yay,’ just so his name will appear in the meeting minutes as having been the only dissenter,” ranted Steven J. Pierce, an account manager at the Athens-based agency. “‘Vote passes eleven to one, with only Thomas Egelski dissenting.’ Big effing deal. Like that makes him special or something. Jerkoff.”

Mary Ann Goldberg, the receptionist in charge of taking minutes during each weekly staff meeting, explained that while company policy dictates that the transcription need not note how each employee votes on a motion, the names of those who oppose the measure is to be noted for the record.

“Each employee of the company is then e-mailed a copy of the minutes, although I doubt if any of them actually read it,” said Goldberg. “These days I just instinctively start writing ‘Dissenting: Thomas Egelski’ before they even vote, because I know I’m going to be writing it anyway. That’s how predictable it is now. So either he’s the most negative person alive or he just likes seeing his name in the minutes.”

Pierce said he and other employees began noticing Egelski’s pattern of voting in opposition to otherwise unanimous decisions in order to get special mention in the meeting notes shortly after he was hired in late 2004.

“I don’t know if his mother didn’t show him enough attention as a child or what, but since the day he started working here he’s insisted on going out of his way to make sure his name somehow gets in the minutes from every meeting,” said Pierce. “I think maybe he derives the same kind of goofy satisfaction from it as, like, getting your bowling score listed in the newspaper or something. Whatever his reasons, it’s become a pretty funny joke around the office.”

Coworker Todd Highland confirmed that both he and Goldberg have recently made efforts to obstruct Egelski from achieving his bizarre goal.

“I put a note in the company suggestion box saying that I thought we should switch to anonymous voting during the meetings, just so Tom couldn’t get his name in the minutes for dissenting,” explained Highland. “And I know Mary Ann started purposely misspelling his name in the minutes, hoping that would dissuade him. But no, Tom just complained to Mary Ann’s boss until she started spelling it correctly. It was pretty funny while it lasted, though.”

Highland admitted that both Egelski’s efforts to get his name in each meeting’s minutes, as well as his coworkers’ efforts to thwart him, is equally petty behavior.

“I guess what it comes down to is that if Tom wants so bad to get his name in the minutes, it would be nice if he did so by actually having something constructive to contribute to the meeting,” said Highland. “Of course, that would mean he might have to break down and actually do some work, so, fat chance.”